Turn the Page

"Some things are hard to write about. After something happens to you, you go to write it down, and either you over dramatize it, or underplay it, exaggerate the wrong parts or ignore the important ones. At any rate, you never write it quite the way you want to." -Sylvia Plath

My blog has been but a fragment of my experience that I have been able to put into words for you. Some of my experiences were far too absurd, others were not even worth mentioning, and many may have slipped my mind as I was too occupied doing what I wanted to do (for once).

This entry marks the end of my semester abroad. I am left with 3 more days in a country that has made me feel more alive, lost, frustrated, inspired, bold, and free than I have ever felt. I cannot say that I have enjoyed every minute of my trip, but I know that it will be an experience that has marked my life forever.

This word, 'experience', that I so nonchalantly toss around holds much more than words can describe and pictures are worth. I truly mean that while I was here I have LIVED.

Let me try to explain this to you: I was scared to live in Australia in the beginning- not because of the reasons you may automatically assume like missing out on a semester at school, missing family and friends, being so far away... No. I was scared because I expected SO much out of this semester abroad. I had only heard of great stories from friends who had studied here, from family-friends who had visited, and from random people I would interact with; in short, Australia was nothing short of amazing. I wanted to do it all. I wanted to live the stories I had heard of and see the things they described to me.

..The reality of it was that I DID NOTHING I WAS SUPPOSED TO DO & everything I wanted to. I didn't snorkel the Great Barrier Reef, instead I wanted to snorkel in Fiji. I didn't go to the Blue Mountains, instead I wanted to hike up Mt. Victoria in New Zealand. I didn't get to skydive, but I did the sling-shot in the GoldCoast. I didn't tan everyday at the beach but I went white-water rafting in New Zealand and saw the sunset at Byron Bay. No matter how careful you are, there's going to be the sense you missed something, the feeling under your skin that you didn't experience it all. But who is to tell me that I lacked experience? At the beginning I was too concerned on what I should be experiencing, and less concerned about what I wanted to do. And it made me think of my life back at home where I am too concerned with trying to make other people happy. (Let's skip the part where I tell you not to misunderstand me- that I truly do enjoy reaching out to people -- because I do.) I just mean that, for once, it became more important for me to listen to, well, ME.

So, yes, my "experience" from Australia will be different than what you heard from your friend or your colleagues, but I learned that it was not something I could set out to create, or re-create to tell people, "I did that too!". "It"... my experience was something I went through. By choosing one adventure over the other, living in a room with 3 girls, jumping on 13 different flights to travel Australia, Fiji and New Zealand, sleeping in, skipping class, and just doing what I wanted to do- that's when I was truly living. When I say "I have had an experience that will mark my life forever" get past the cliche thoughts; this goes beyond what they write in the brochures to get you to go abroad.

I have been marked. I have experienced more feelings than a heart could hold. I have seen sights that made me dream of heaven. I have put up walls to take them down and cried myself to sleep at night. I have had my fix of "listening to people with accents." I've picked up "heaps" of Aussie-isms to bring back to the states. I've met backpackers from England, Germany, Ireland, Canada and all over the world; all of them with different reasons for traveling and the best stories to tell. I have heard songs sung from a man who who hasn't seen change for his people in years and still has Hope for a better tomorrow. I have eaten enough for three people and gotten enough free drinks for four. I have spent nights with friends by the harbour having men from foreign countries splurge on bottle after bottle of champagne for the table. I have laughed until my stomach hurts with new friends and strengthened my relationship with others. I learned distance is for the bold. I learned that freedom is a beautiful-disaster. But most importantly, I understood that enjoying life should be of much greater concern than understanding it. And that, well that I learned from experience (and with a little inspiration from Ghandi) ;)

Even after I have left this place, I know I will have it forever.

Traveling closes and opens chapters in your life. Australia has done both. Although this blog is closure to my adventures to this great land, it has certainly turned the page to allow me to fill my book with more words, more experiences... more living.

To all of those who followed me along, thank you for reading.

Life is a journey, not a destination....
..... Ka kite ano a te wa, until we meet again <3